Beats Nambumetone | Amy Alkon on MND

Beats Nambumetone
I slept funny, then got into an evening dress funny (the slinky kind without a zipper that you pull over your head) and did something horrible to my neck.

In fact, since Sunday, I’ve been in the worst back and neck agony I’ve ever felt, and hot showers, heating pads, and even a gift certificate from a friend for a Thai massage (in which a rotund little Thai woman walked on my back, among other oddnesses) were of no avail.

I was in such pain that I even looked in my medicine cabinet for drugs, which, save for Ritalin, I don’t usually like to take because all drugs have side-effects. There was a 10 year old bottle of Naproxin (mega-aspirin, essentially, and way too old) and an unopened couple-year-old bottle of some “nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory” called Nambumetone that had such creepy side-effects that I decided to try to keep suffering my back/neck problem instead.

Well, when the going gets tough, Gregg gets me laughing with a little Photoshopping Skyped over the transom. Yesterday, he added a flying saucer over the shot of me on the boardwalk for Psychology Today to see how long it would take for me to notice. Loved this one from this morning with old-forceps-in-the-forehead Zawahiri.

Well, I’m finally starting to feel better. While certain self-pleasuring is limited to dogs, I found that you can actually give yourself a massage (or that “hurts so good” feeling) in the exact spots you need it with this amazingly useful and odd-looking back thingie my friend L. recommended, called The Original Backnobber II.

See the little photos in the picture for how it works. And it really, really works, and without much arm effort, because you just kind of lean into it to apply pressure to where you need it on your back, neck, etc. And it breaks down into two pieces so you can take it with you. It’s really the single dumbest-looking and most useful thing I’ve bought all year. (I’m using it in between writing this blog item, and finally starting to feel better after having it since 3:20 yesterday afternoon, when I bought it at the overpriced hippie health food store in Santa Monica.)